Shut Up, Laura

You guys are professional hockey players, so I assume that someone has told you the objective of the game is to put the little round black rubbery thing into the other team's big white nett-y thing, yes?  And to do so more often than the opposing team does to you?

If I'm going to shell out money to show up to a game, the least you can do is take the night off from your usual tactic of collapsing as we approach the post-season.  Just for one night, please?  That's all I really ask.  Ay-yi-yi.